


and my affection, well it comes and goes

by aintitfun



Series: THE QUIET [1]
Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Ableist Language, Anxiety, M/M, Neurodiversity, Sensory Overload, Stimming, selective mutism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-19
Updated: 2016-01-19
Packaged: 2018-05-14 22:04:51
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,927
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5760601
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aintitfun/pseuds/aintitfun
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tyler should have known this was a bad idea. It was his one chance and he was totally going to blow it. </p><p>or the one where Tyler goes to a show and Josh works at the venue</p>
            </blockquote>





	and my affection, well it comes and goes

**Author's Note:**

> This was supposed to be a ficlet, but that didn't happen.  
> TW for ableist language and a slight anxiety attack  
> Title from "All These Things That I've Done" by The Killers

 

Tyler should have known this was a bad idea. He really, really, _really_ wanted to see this band though. His brother begrudgingly brought him along to see The Killers in a small standing room only venue. This was his one chance to see them up close, and he was totally about to blow it.

 

Zack had met up with his girlfriend when they got up to the barricade and she decided she’d rather stand on the balcony. Zack shot his a brother a look, “You gonna be alright here by yourself?” Tyler barely had any chance to respond before Zack gave him a quick nod and left the pit without a word. He doesn’t do to well on his own, especially not in big crowds. This was his one chance to see The Killers up close, and he was totally about to blow it.

 

He managed to make it through the opening band without a hitch, until the excitement of what was next started to get to him. His hands flapped at his sides as he rocked back and forth on the balls of his feet. He could hear the jittering laughter next to him and he tried his best to ignore it. He should be used to it by now, but it still hurt. He couldn’t help it. His body tended to react before he could think about it. Tyler was just glad his brother wasn’t around to chastise him. That always made it worse. He clenched his hands into fists, but it did nothing to quell the back and forth motion of his rocking. He could feel the vibration in his throat threatening to push through the dam of his teeth. Tyler sank his teeth into his bottom lip, eyes downcast trying to focus on just being normal.

 

The house lights began to grow dim, when he heard it. “Who let the retard come to a show?” The chorus of laughter began around him until it blended in with the excited screams of the rest of the crowd. This was his one chance to see The Killers up close, and he was totally about to blow it. As the crowd surged forward, Tyler’s legs gave out from under him. He let the sheer force of the pushing keep him afloat, all the while unable to control his high pitched moaning and crying. He felt the pressure cease as he sank to the floor, hyperventilating and running his hands back and forth through his hair. There was a gentle caress across his back as someone yelled “Are you okay?” in his ear. It only made him feel worse. It always made things worse. Tyler felt himself being carried away, over the heads of others. He tried so hard not to kick and scream, but he didn’t know what was happening. “It’s okay. Just give it a moment. It will be okay.” The same voice attempted to reassure him.

 

Tyler was ushered to a room with a metal folding chair. He could feels everyone’s eyes on him. “Have you had anything to drink?” Tyler clasped his hands on his knees and began to rock. He just wanted to go home. He totally blew it. He just wanted to go home. “Have you taken any drugs tonight?” This wasn’t the same voice as before. This voice was accusatory and irritated. He didn’t like it.

 

“Pete, maybe you should give him some space. I think… he might be…” Tyler heard mumbling, but didn’t bother to look up. It was the same voice as before. The nice voice, not as loud anymore, much more calming. Tyler liked the feeling of this voice. A small smile crept into the corner of his mouth as he continued to rock back and forth. 

 

A face appeared before his eyes, crouched right in front of the metal folding chair. “Are you feeling a little bit better now?” It was the nice voice that also had nice eyes and nice pink hair and now Tyler was touching it. “Oh, do you like my hair?” The nice voice had a nice smile and then Tyler remembered that he wasn’t supposed to touch anyone without their permission. He snatched his hand back, shoving it under his leg. He was so glad his brother wasn’t there. “Hey, it’s okay. People try and touch it all the time, honestly.” Tyler couldn’t look the nice voice in their nice eyes. “My name is Josh. Can you tell me your name?”

 

Tyler glanced up and realized there were 4 other people in the room, all looking at him expectantly. He shook his head no and continued his rocking. He hated this. He hated…talking. Why did everyone want him to talk?

 

“Okay, that’s fine.” Josh reached for Tyler’s pocket, pointing at his wallet. “Can I?” Tyler handed it over. Josh thumbed through a few of his cards and noted his name on his ID. “Tyler?” The nervous man made eye contact with the nice voice. “Did you come with anyone tonight?” Tyler gave one brief nod. “Do they know where you are right now?” Tyler shook his head. At the thought of his brother being upset with him, Tyler began to flap his hands at his sides. Josh slid back from his spot on the floor. “Okay, it’s okay Tyler. We’ll take care of you. It’s not a problem.” Josh snapped his fingers, “I’ve got something for you. I’ll be right back, okay?” Tyler gripped his hands together and made a noncommittal noise.

 

Josh returned momentarily with a plastic rope like figure in his hands. “Here you go. See if this makes you feel any better.” Tyler took a deep breath before taking the plastic toy in his hands. He twisted it between his fingers and marveled at the way it twisted back and forth, never losing it’s connection. He twirled it around his wrist as happy humming noises emanated from his mouth. “Fun, right?” Josh smiled as he rested his chin on his hands. “I’ll be right back okay? I’ll just be right over there if you need me, Tyler.” He pointed right behind the young man’s head, even though he wasn’t looking up from the bright colors in his hand.

 

Tyler busied himself with the plastic figure as a discussion took place behind him. “Yeah, I’m pretty sure he’s on the spectrum somewhere, but I didn’t see anything in his wallet. It might just be anxiety.” Josh glanced at the young man in the metal folding chair, still busying himself with the tangle toy. “Either way, I think he’ll be fine. Just give him a few minutes.”

 

The beginning notes of “All These Things That I’ve Done” reverberated through the thin walls of the small box office and Tyler was reminded where he was and why he was there. He dropped the small toy and held his head in his hands as he began to cry. He totally blew it. Josh rushed over, sitting in front of the young man once more. “Do you want to go back inside and hear a few songs?”

 

Tyler wiped his face with the back of his hands and nodded. “Please?”

 

Josh’s eyes crinkled at the corners as his smile grew wide. It was the first thing the younger man had said to him all night. “Alright, lets go!”

 

——————

 

Josh took Tyler to the balcony and stood beside him for the rest of the show. He knew he was technically supposed to be working, but he was helping out a patron at the venue, so that counted for something, right? The younger man bobbed along to every song, waving his arms when he felt it was appropriate. Every now and then, he would look over at Josh and simply state “I like this one.” and point down at the stage.

 

After the encore, Tyler looked absolutely thrilled. He hadn’t blown it completely, but he had kind of lost his brother. Josh furrowed his brow when he recognized the look of panic on the younger man’s face. “What’s wrong Tyler?”He shook his hands at his sides and made a slight motion for the door. “Do you want to wait for your friend to go outside?” Tyler shrugged and grasped onto the handrail on the balcony. Josh took that as a yes. He leaned over the railing, surveying the aftermath of the show and thinking about how much trouble he would be in later, when he felt a tap on his shoulder. “You okay, dude?”

 

Tyler bit his lip, avoiding eye contact with the other man. “I like this one.” He pointed at the one red nail on Josh’s left hand. “S’nice.”

 

Josh smiled. “Thanks man.” Tyler nodded once, before averting his gaze to his fingertips.

 

“Oh my god, there you are! I’ve seriously been looking everywhere for you.” Tyler cringed as he heard his brother’s voice coming towards them. “Is he bothering you?” Zack look exasperated as he posed the question to Josh.

 

Josh scratched his head, attempting to place his nervous energy anywhere but in his voice. “No? We’ve been hanging out all night. Isn’t that right, Tyler?” Tyler gave him a small smile as he felt his cheeks grow warm.

 

Zack rolled his eyes. “Okay, whatever. It’s time to go now. Mom’s gonna kill me if I don’t get you home soon.” He shook his car keys as he walked away.

 

Tyler began to follow in his brother’s footsteps when he felt a tug on his sleeve. “Wait!” Tyler flinched at the sudden volume of his voice. “Sorry.” Josh rubbed his neck. “Do you think I could, maybe, get your number? I just… want to make sure you get home okay? And if you come back in, I want to make sure you’re taken care of? I mean… it’s totally up to you. I just thought I would ask. If not I understand and -“ Josh was cut off by Tyler giggling as he shook his phone in his face for the older man to type in his number. “Or I could just give you mine. Right…” Josh quickly typed in his information, adding a small emoji of painted nails next to his name. “Talk to you later, maybe?”

 

“Tyler! What are you doing? Hurry up!” Zack yelled from the stairs. Tyler gave a small wave as he bounced down the steps.

 

Josh reveled in the warm feeling of content, until he felt a hand around his shoulder. “That was cute and all, but I don’t pay you to flirt.” His boss shoved a broom into his hands. “Time to clean up, Dun!”

 

Josh heaved a heavy sigh and began pushing confetti around, until he felt the buzz of his phone in his pocket.

 

***you’ve got soul, but you’re not a soldier. ;) thanks for helping me out tonight. I really appreciate it. See you soon?***

 

Josh held his phone to his chest, like a teenage girl who just heard from the football captain.

 

***yes, absolutely. and it’s not problem at all. you know i’ve gotta help you out ;)***

 

“Dun! Do you want money to pay for that phone? Then I suggest you put it away and keep sweeping!”

 

Josh rolled his eyes. “Yes, Mr. Wentz, sir.”

 

“That’s your royal Wentz to you, Dun!” Pete yelled to the balcony. “Hey, ow! Quit it!”

 

Josh laughed as Patrick pulled Pete by his ear. “Quit being a dick to Josh and help clean up so we can go home.”

 

Josh hummed to himself as continued his nightly duties. Maybe he didn’t totally blow it tonight.

**Author's Note:**

> I kind of want to keep this going, but I'm not sure. Please let me know if I should tag anything else. (or if it sucks lol)


End file.
